Dumb jock + god

Hey religious America: Do you want to know why some people get uncomfortable when you start talking publicly about your belief in god and jesus? It is because you sound stupid to intelligent people and they feel embarrassed for you.

I don't quite get what Tim Tebow is all about. Does he believe that an omnipotent and infinitely good god is helping him win football games yet doesn't cure cancer, free political prisoners, or prevent natural disasters? People tell me they pray for lottery winnings and even for a downtown parking space. Believing that a god with the power to answer prayers is helping you with your petty shit is downright presumptuous and mean spirited.

However, I don't know that Tebow believes god directly meddles with football games. He clearly credits god for making him who he is and giving him the opportunity to play. But even if this more moderate position is difficult for me. Why would god expend spiritual energy to make Tebow special and but leave the guy with pancreatic cancer alone?

Whatever the case, Tebow sounds like an idiot when he credits god with his athletic success.

Christmas Discontent

I think the last time I enjoyed christmas was when I was a materialistic child. I'm no no longer a child or materialistic, and I'm squarely secular. Also, a member of my family is acutely mentally ill and for whatever reason not interested in treatment. Even without him, my christmases would be a chore. But he has made sure they have been outright miserable. Luckily he was out of the picture this holiday and my christmas was one of mere managed discontent.

One way I managed my christmas discontent was to attend a UU christmas morning service. I did this for nearly the same reason I attended a service on the 10th anniversary of 9/11: I felt a difficult mix of bad emotions and I figured it might be helpful to be among people. Also, I wanted to be around people for a short while who are not members of my family..

The service was simply a good performance with stories and music. I felt a good emotion emerge from the wintry mix of discontent. I felt that one of the biggest gifts my parents gave me was Unitarian Universalism. How nice it is to have this religion that I don't feel at all conflicted about. I have at times envied believers in the conventional religions, assuming they feel deep comfort where I only have awkward uncertainty. But except for the stupidest of unquestioning believers, most of these folks seem confused and conflicted about their beliefs.

Hitchens Dead

Upon the death of a fellow atheist, Kurt Vonnegut took pleasure in saying, "He's in heaven now." And it is funny, because it reveals how there isn't much useful secular language to explore the meaning of death, or even just to mourn without speaking religiously. It would be easy to say Hitchens' soul lives on in those he inspired, but that is purely figurative.

I didn't pay attention to Hitchens until his final years, when fighting religion seemed to become his full-time gig. And what a pleasure it was to watch him unload his anger, brilliance, irreverence, and dry humor on religious folly.

His writings didn't inspire me much. He wrote a sort of William F. Buckley, erudite mush that he seemed all too happy with. But as a speaker and debater, he was engrossing. I've spent many hours watching his interviews and debate appearances. I'm saddened that there is now a finite number of those.

I think he would have made a terrific old man--perhaps even more hilariously cynical, skeptical, and impatient.

College Magic

I have always found colleges to be a magical place. Even when I've lived in a college neighborhood but had no formal affiliation with the college, I've fallen squarely on the gown side of the town versus gown divide. To learn a thing or two about campus design, I picked up Paul Turner's Campus: An American Planning Tradition from, of course, my local college library.

I'm moved by Thomas Jefferson's idea of an "academical village". He designed the University of Virginia campus in a way that he thought would promote family-like relationships between students and professors. He considered such relationships with professors to have been key to his own college experience. His plan alternated houses of students with houses of professors and their families around village green. The first floor of the professor's houses was to be classroom space. But after the University opened, sharing space between the professors' families and students just didn't work out, and classes had to be held elsewhere. And now, after generations of explosive growth at the University, the academical village is but a small fraction of a current megacampus whose design has little to do with Jefferson's original plan.

I certainly don't have anything against megacampuses. These schools, typically the bigger private universities or state flagship campuses, are magic. With tens of thousands of students, many of them living on campus, they are cities in themselves. And they provide a unique educational experience. As research universities that grant Ph.Ds in their major programs, undergraduates enjoy the energy of professors and graduate students on the cutting edge of their field, and graduate students interact as teaching assistants or even teachers for the vast undergraduate population.

But the size of these schools can make it a challenge to find the intimacy Jefferson sought to foster in his design. The UK's Oxford and Cambridge Universities, however, with their division into many semi-independent colleges, may be one solution.UC Santa Cruz was designed with a modern take on this organizational system. Its several semi-independent colleges are spread out through its wooded hillside campus. The idea of course is that the experience for all will be more intimate when the megacampus is broken into these smaller units.

It seems that the book was written too soon for the design failings of newer campuses to be apparent. For example, the University of Illinois at Chicago's raised pedestrian walkways and sunken amphitheater are discussed as innovations of the 1960s to address circulation and the need for social spaces at an urban campus with a large proportion of commuter students. But these turned out to be failed elements of the design that the school demolished after the book was first published.

I would very much love an updated version of this book. My 1995 paperback update doesn't seem to have 1995 updates. We now of a strong body of knowledge about what can be achieved through campus design, leaving few excuses for further bad design. Innovation, always welcome, should be informed by the catalog of success and failure in campus design.

How to survive college

A large minority of people who start college never finish. The actual numbers depend on how you measure it. (Here is a rundown of the numbers, and another here.) It looks like any way you slice it, a large minority, 30% or more, begin a degree program without earning a degree. And you are responsible for repaying student loans regardless of whether you graduate.

This comes out to quite a lot of people who have loans but no degree. Or even if they didn't borrow money to pay for it, it might amount to a waste of time and leave someone with a big sense of failure at the start of his or her adult life. Sure, some of the most successful people are college dropouts. But I think for most, it would be better to either succeed in college and earn a degree or spend their time doing something else--working, starting a family, or even just goofing off.

I don't think this big problem is getting the attention it deserves. If it did, we might start thinking of some good solutions. The best I can come up with is to award degrees in increments. In concrete terms this could mean awarding an associate degree after completing the first half of a four-year bachelor's program. This way, it wouldn't be an all or nothing endeavor. Those finishing two years would have something to put on their resume. I know some PhD programs do this. On your way to the PhD, you earn a master's degree. Although the purpose of the program is the doctorate degree, not everyone makes it. But instead of dropping out as a failed doctoral candidate, you have your MA or MS.

I had a hell of a time getting through my undergraduate education. But by the time I was finishing graduate school, I think I had become a very efficient student. I knew by then how to use my time and energy in the best ways in order to succeed and avoid burning out.

Below is something I wrote in my journal when I was finishing graduate school and reflecting on how I got through it. I don't know if my experience applies perfectly to others. For example, I felt the need to try to avoid ever missing a class. I could imagine how someone else might need to complete every reading assignment, which was never the case with me.

At any rate, here is what worked for me.

 

• Never give up on graded assignments
• Ideally, start major assignments early
• Crank out first drafts without worrying about quality
• Just getting something on paper is usually a solid start

• You don't have to read everything
• When reading is not linked to a graded assignment, you may skim it or skip it if time is very tight for higher-priority tasks
• Depending on your learning style, you may be able to skip reading altogether if the material is adequately covered in lectures
• A skilled reader can often extract sufficient knowledge from a reading  without reading the entire document

• Try not to take unnecessary notes
• For example:
• Do take thorough notes when reading a key source for a research project
• Do not write down a professor's personal family anecdotes
• Do not take notes that are available as PowerPoint slides on the course website

• Tolerate unlikeable instructors
• Don't let a personality clash get between you and your degree

• Be open with instructor about honest difficulty
• It is occasionally fair to ask for an extension for an assignment or to give an honest explanation for turning something in late
• Ask stupid questions about details of course expectations
• Seek help when stuck to avoid being overwhelmed

• Exploit technology to increase efficiency
• Do not manage citations manually, as citation management software is available
• Zotero, Endnote
• Note taking software: OneNote

• Be social
• Networking is key to landing an internship and eventually a job
• Being well-connected helps when a project includes getting in touch with people
• Engaging with classmates outside the classroom leads to knowledge exchange you might not have in the classroom

Lino Rulli, reluctant spiritual guide

I have adored Lino Rulli since I first saw Generation Cross, his Catholic TV show geared toward young adults. It wasn't just the only watchable program on our local Catholic station. The show was clever and funny, and even a little edgy. He's done a bunch of things since then and now hosts a Catholic radio show on satellite radio, fulfilling a dream to work alongside Howard Stern.

My interest in Lino is on the surface a little odd, considering my general distaste for Catholicism. I think the supernatural element of all religions is despicable. But I hate Catholicism more perhaps because in my youth the majority of my peers were being raised Catholic and that majority probably offended me with its righteousness. The dictated morality minus thought doesn't work for me. And I have had too many conversations with adult Catholics who can't have a deep and open conversation about philosophy, because, they say, they "have their beliefs."

But Lino is not simple. I recently read his memoir, Sinner: The Catholic Guy's funny, feeble attempts to be a faithful Catholic. The title sums it up. He believes in the whole bundle of Catholic bullshit, but he is intelligent and has a glowing personality. His life story is interesting. And like me, he seeks depth and authenticity in his life. He happens to have latched onto a very clear system of spirituality that I just can't swallow.

As much as I can't handle Catholicism, I think Lino's attempt to live a spiritual life, with often unintentionally comedic results, is relevant to me. He's rooted in a way I'd like to be. I have just been thus far unable to find something to root me similarly, since all spiritual systems that appear potentially satisfying are full of supernaturalism that is at best unfalsafiable, or at worst, demonstrably false. Lino doesn't discuss doubt in his book, and this disappoints me. I feel that understand his personality to a great extent, but not his brain, if it lets the BS through unfiltered. Though I know by now, religious beliefs that are instilled in you before you have the mind to filter them often stay despite any careful thought or reckless rebellion in later years.

I can live in a world of Linos. A world where truly wonderful people entertain and inspire us despite our fundamental difference in worldview. That's the wonder of the pluralism of a liberal democracy. But the same kind of absolute belief in a religion leads to atrocity and misery in other circumstances. I suppose there must be limits. You can believe what you want as long as it doesn't weaken the rights and safety of others.

Lino, I like you and I am happy you are not strapping bombs to yourself.

How I did it

I don't go to church often. But yesterday was the tenth anniversary of 9/11. As much as I like Tom Brokaw (he never quite fully retired, did he?), I didn't want to degrade the dignity of my mourning and contemplation by doing it all in front of a television. I had a strong sense that I needed to be among peers.

The church service wasn't entirely about 9/11. It was the first Sunday after summer, and the congregation held its annual water communion. This is a nifty ritual where everyone who wishes to brings water from their various summer travels or experiences and says a few very brief words about it. The water is mixed into a single bowl and used later by the church for ceremonies. Perhaps this is the UU equivalent to holy water.

Another element of the service that made it a more affirmative experience for me is that I am noticing many people I am getting to know in my community attend this church. It has always been a struggle for me to walk into a new church without knowing anyone. But this handful of acquaintances makes me think I could settle with this church.

All in all, this was one of the more affirming church services I've attended.

Ten years on

I almost want to avoid news coverage of the tenth anniversary of 9/11. But I took all that shit so seriously when it happened that it seems like reflection is due.

First off, it is good that there have been no major terror attacks on the US in ten years. Richard Clarke speculated that the decade would be a tough one, with multiple waves of terrorism and a national response that includes war abroad and further limits to freedoms at home. Blessedly, those further attacks never came. Of course that didn't stop a rush to war limits to civil liberties that no one is comfortable. But it could have been much, much worse.

But the decade sucked for other reasons. Our economy is stagnating and we are on the way to losing our economic dominance to a police state. We arguably lost the space race to the Soviet Union in 2011. We are still tied up to some degree in long-lasting overseas conflicts that have shown us the limits of our military power.

I think I fared better than the nation did over the past decade. There have been some losses. Some slow, lazy losses. And there have been triumphs. Slow, persistent victories. Some good, incremental, natural growth, too, I suppose.

If we must get older, there have to be some benefits to it. For example, as time passes we can learn where in the world we feel rooted. We might learn to appreciate an irreplicable connection to a family member we had been accustomed to shrugging off as a nuisance. We can be thankful for the bonds among us that strengthen with time, and the people we come to understand bring out the best in us, and compassionately nudge us away from our worst.

Facebook death news

I learned through facebook that a past acquaintance had died a couple years ago. I'm not so young anymore, and I am used to learning that people I know have died. But this news moved me because I remember this person as a troubled but good spirit who just didn't deserve a premature death. Yeah, people shower the dead with praise and it never makes much sense to me. I've had to introspect when I've learned of the death of a bad soul, too. If I felt like it I could probably say a lot more about death. I grew up in the shadow of a parent's death and I will probably always be a little out of tune about it.

Something happened

1) A particular series of circumstances led me to meet a certain family member for the first time.
2) The meeting happened in a location of stunning natural beauty and special significance to our family.
3) We reflected and shared our separate stories, sitting in awe as we got our first good look at one another.
4) I revealed that although I didn't know her, I knew of her, and she had inspired me.
5) I noted that there is good fortune in this world and I have experienced a great deal of it lately. I added that yes, work brings good luck, and I have worked hard. But there is a factor of dumb luck in there too.

The world isn't ending today

The doomsday cult that is in the news today--for asserting that the world will end today--has obviously set itself up for humiliation. But how much stupider is this than mainstream religion?

I think you can break up the supernatural claims of religions into a couple categories, testable versus untestable. Assertions of the existence of gods and an afterlife, at least in concept, are untestable. On the other hand, concrete claims of supernatural activity in this world as we know it are testable. There is no hard evidence to suggest that any concrete supernatural claim is true. You can study whether prayer brings miracle cures, Wiccans can move objects with their minds, or that tv psychics can communicate with the dead. Any thoughtful test of these results in a simple conclusion. They are bullshit. If someone strips this away and still feels compelled to hold onto some supernatural beliefs, they might maintain some untestable beliefs, since it takes even deeper critical thinking to wonder why we should believe in something that can neither be proven nor disproven.

The current doomsday cult has made an in-your-face concrete supernatural claim. It is a testable claim and the test is automatic. They say the world will end at a particular time. That time will pass. If the world doesn't end, their supernatural claim is false. Contrast this with more conventional religious beliefs that are not quite so automatically tested. The folly of such religiosity is easier to dismiss merely by not thinking much about it. But it is impossible to avoid seeing the bullshit of a doomsday cult when doomsday doesn't come.

Yeah, I've argued these things with people--late into the night with intelligent people, too. I'm here now with some awareness of the wonder of the world around me and this doesn't require belief in the supernatural.

The basic god argument typically circles back around to the question of how the world came to exist:

The world had to be created...god created the world...what created god?...god always existed...why does the world have to have been created and the explanation of its creation involves a god that didn't have to be created?

I don't think I am a particularly original thinker. I think all thoughtful arguments about this go the same way. My personal sense is that the concept of a god that always existed would be awe inspiring. But this depends on deciding, philosophically, that the world (in some form) could not have always existed. I mean, if we are looking for explanations and we come up with an eternal god, why couldn't the world itself simply have always existed? The big bang was not the beginning of the world. Even that started with that dense mass of whatever.

It is the question of why there is something instead of nothing. I don't know why there is something rather than nothing. I don't know how to find an answer without suspending my critical mind. But the world's very existence, even absent of any supernatural thinking, inspires awe in me. I don't need religious bullshit for that. Can a non-supernatural religion be built on that foundation? I don't know. But my own religious tradition allows for this kind of contemplation.

Birtherism

I feel hurt by the birther movement. I feel proud that we elected a black guy with a weird ethnic name. But the birthers give me the opposite feeling. I am still processing this.

Quote

When books are burned in the end people will be burned too.     Heinrich Heine

The Hitchens Commandments

Please, please think critically about the ten commandments. Or at least consider the thoughts of critical thinkers.



http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2010/04/hitchens-201004

Moments in time

If you saw me today sitting alone in the very back of a certain chapel, leaning, hands folded, over the pew in front of me, you might have thought I was praying. But I was just enjoying the empty building and its silence.

I ain't no believer, but I am moved by places of worship--especially when I am alone. Airports have chapels, and I find them to be the most peaceful place there. Hospitals, naturally, have chapels too.  But I'm not comfortable in those, since I feel like I'm in the way of people on the verge of losing a loved one. Nevertheless, these chapels are nondenominational, which I imagine allows non-believers in.  They are quiet, solemn places--a good reprieve from, say, the hustle and bustle of an airport terminal.

I can see my contradiction here, being drawn to places of worship but rejecting the supernatural-moral elements of the worshiping that takes place in them. Perhaps, you might say, Unitarian Universalism would be the right place for someone of my composition. And I've tried their congregations.  But in a UU service packed with people, or in their casual coffee hour after, I don't feel the same meditative peace I find in an empty church.

More on meaningful work

I blogged my thoughts before about meaningful work. This quote fits in with that:

You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
 - Warren Beatty

The Dictator's Dignity

Dictators have no rights. A dictator can be killed at any moment, and the killing is justified. Only in a world as twisted and dangerous as ours can a free country befriend a dictator.

I heard that the Saudis asked Obama not to embarrass Mubarak.  If he wanted dignity, he could have worked long ago to transition Egypt into a liberal democracy.

Egyptards

Come on, Middle East, you look like a bunch of fucking retards.  There are countries that have protected their people's basic rights for over two centuries now.  There is no excuse for dictatorship.  Sure, if you insist, you could come down on the draconian side of issues like abortion and immigration that no one can agree on.  But if you don't protect your people's basic freedoms--speech, expression, religion, fair elections--then you just look dumb.  Heck, you could even have a fucking monarchy if you want.  But really, advance into the 18th Century and out of the dark ages.

I offer some basic do's and don't's for the current Egyptard leadership:

• Don't attack peaceful protesters
• Do protect peaceful protesters from assault
• Don't attack members of the press
• Do protect members of the press from assault
• Don't block communications in order to stifle opposition
• Do protect communication networks even if you don't like what is being communicated
• Don't rig elections
• Do hold free and fair elections
• Don't be president for more than a few years
• Do adhere to clear constitutional term limits for the head of state

My Soul's Dense Crust

I think my soul might have a pretty dense crust.  I'd like to think that all the inspirational bits and pieces I shared in my last blog most moved me to be a better, stronger and deeper spirit.  But if I think about it at all, I was just as likely feeling a charge from within already when external inspiration came along and allowed me to reflect on it or even to just articulate an inner drive.

Someone turned me to Murray's "Commitment" passage when I was in a very deep slump.  It had no impact on me at the time.  It wasn't until quite a while later when I had gained some traction that I revisited the passage and thought, "Oh, that's what I am doing".

And in my last post I only covered inspiring words.  There's no need to suffer that limitation.  I've been inspired by human beings, art, architecture, nature, cities, culture, philosophy, humor, technology, and probably a few other things too.

Inspiration Miscellany

I find inspiration in miscellaneous places.  A recent gem I found in a Google search:

"Whenever someone sorrows, I do not say, "forget it," or "it will pass," or "it could be worse" -- all of which deny the integrity of the painful experience. But I say, to the contrary, "It is worse than you may allow yourself to think. Delve into the depth. Stay with the feeling. Think of it as a precious source of knowledge and guidance. Then and only then will you be ready to face it and be transformed in the process."--Peter Koestenbaum

I don't know who this guy is, but I appreciate the idea of finding renewed personal depth through despair.  This next one I think speaks that old truth of hard work and determination bringing good luck.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: 'Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it./Boldness has genius, power and magic in it!'"--W.H. Murray

Next is the "Paradoxical Commandments".  I can't say they've moved me like I thought they might when I first heard them at a graduation ceremony.  But they are powerful and I think they describe the way the best folks among us operate:

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.
If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.
If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.
The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.
People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.
Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

Next on my list are the seven principles of Unitarian Universalism.  People argue UUism isn't a religion, since a religion is supposed to believe in something.  True, UUism doesn't require one to believe one way or another regarding the big questions conventional religions profess to answer.  But they do have a this set of general guiding principles:

The inherent worth and dignity of every person
Justice, equity and compassion in human relations
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations
A free and responsible search for truth and meaning
The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large
The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all
Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part

Another source of inspiration is really a flawed one for me.  I watched the trailer for the film adaptation of Dan Millman's Peaceful Warrior.  It looked to me like a powerful story of overcoming adversity by fostering inner strength with the guidance of a wise old man.  Nick Nolte's character says "I call myself a peaceful warrior...because the battles we fight are on the inside".  I developed my own interpretation of that.  I thought it was simply about how in a society of peace and abundance, we struggle not for material survival, but against our inner demons and for meaningfulness.  Then I read the book and it seemed like a cultish, new age mess.  But I hold onto the meaning I derived from the movie trailer.

Another source of inspiration for me really isn't the same as any of the above.  It was more anti-inspiration.  A college professor of mine had a very pessimistic view of the way the world works.  He taught our class that success comes not from hard work and education, but through the luck of personal connections.  I remember that as a pivotal point for me, where I changed course and became seriously ambitious because I didn't believe him and I wanted to prove him very wrong.  For the sake of this blog's anonymity I won't say too much except that my ambition has paid off greatly and without the help of wealthy uncles and powerful brothers-in-law.

I'm leaving Rocky's inspirational speech, from the most recent installment of the franchise, last because I already noted it in a previous post.  But it is another good one that influenced me as much or more than any of the above.

Overall the theme here might be that little gems of inspiration are enough for me, and it can be counter productive to explore more material from their source, since an idea can easy be fully contained in a passage and I've been burned by the fluffcrap that I found behind the meaning I took from a quote before.  But in the end this is part of my story, the miscellaneous sources I draw inspiration from.

Big China, Renewed America

I've been thinking some more about America in the face of an ascendant China.  I've found a little more optimism in myself.

If there's any concern that the new world order poses a threat to the safety of the United States, we can regroup our military defenses to defend the safety of the United States.  We invest hugely in our military might, but only so much of it is oriented truly toward defense.  And again, we're a nuclear power.  Any existential threat to the United States becomes an existential treat to the enemy of the US.

American should not in the face of rising China lose its freedomist orientation.  If we are no longer the strongest and richest country, we can still renew ourselves as the most free.  And we can continue as the world's leading innovator, with the world's best and brightest drawn toward freedom and away from tyranny.

China

Even with a robust recovery, the US is on its way to losing its position as the world's largest economy to China in just a few years.  It will be a number of years after that that China's per capita wealth catches up with the West's, but as a single unit, China will soon no doubt be the richest country on Earth.

I want the Chinese people to prosper.  Heck, it is heartbreaking that any person anywhere is born into poverty.   But I think it will be troubling to know that the nation with the largest economy is a police state.  It isn't even that I fear military conflict between our two countries.  I would think that the same fear of mutual destruction that kept the Cold War peace will be in effect between the US and China.

Yeah, I know that during the Cold War the US frequently behaved badly.  But the most powerful country then was at least generally a free one, and that is meaningful when more than half of the world population lives in police states.

I also figure that America will have to adjust its national identity as it loses the top economic spot.  I don't know how this will play out, except that I imagine some ugly politics.

How winnin' is done

Rocky Balboa's inspirational speech to his son moves me:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z5OookwOoY

Chew on this

"Please, please stop referring to yourselves as consumers.  Consumers are different than citizens.  Consumers do not have obligations, responsibilities, and duties to their fellow human beings.  And as long as you're using that word 'consumer' in the public discussion, you will be degrading the quality of the discussion we're having and we're going to continue being clueless going into this very difficult future that we face."

JH Kunstler