Before I had the Words: On Being a Transgender Young Adult

I recently started reading up on the ridiculously short history of transgender rights. But I am finding personal stories of trans people more mind expanding. Some young transgender people document their transition, and their life in general, online. It is an makes an opportunity for us cisgender people to have all our questions answered as well as to witness the humanity of these easily marginalized folks.

One is Jamie Raines who is cute, funny, and articulate. The story of his girlfriend's finally successful quest for her family's acceptance of their relationship is heartwarming. Another is Skylar Kergil, who has made a name for himself raising awareness of trans people. His memoirs, Before I Had the Words, document the experience of feeling truly male despite being born with a female body and the journey through his transition.

Transgender people move me because they live off script and have to cross more bridges than most people. Their journey of self-discovery, transformation, finding community, fighting for their rights,  and celebrating their identify is a spiritual path. I understand my bias in favor of these young and cute trans personalities, when I know that true transgender acceptance has to embrace everyone--including ugly, awkward, and fat. And I appreciate and support the fight for transgender rights and acceptance because they are on the front lines. The LG and B can feel more secure if the T has rights.

A Queer History of the United States

Now and then I hear a strict libertarian argument that a shop owner should have the right to refuse customers based on race. Typically the speaker adds that although he believes in the right of the shop owner, such an activity would be abhorrent and the store should be boycotted.

I contrast this with much more common statements by proponents of the right to refuse to serve customers based on sexual orientation. They believe homosexuality is wrong and that they have the right to refuse to endorse it through their businesses activities. I would respect their case more if they embraced their deeper humanity and recognized that it is wrong to humiliate and marginalize queer people, while taking a strict libertarian position regarding the store owner's rights.

Michael Bronski's A Queer History of the United States describes the long lead up to the era of increased acceptance and legal rights for queer people in America. Explicit records of homosexual activity in the US prior to 1900 are mainly regarding its criminal prosecution. Other than than, the author can only speculate about who was queer through reading between the lines, decoding, and academic theorizing. It wasn't until 1950 that Harry Hay, an early LGBT activist, had a then radical thought:

"...[We] believe homosexuals can lead well-adjusted, wholesome, and socially productive lives once ignorance and prejudice against them is successfully combated, and once homosexuals feel they have a dignified and useful role to play in society."

During the AIDS crisis in the 1980s, religious-political leaders were claiming the disease was god's punishment for homosexuality. Society's response to the health crisis was agonizingly slow, while our least brothers suffered and died.

Just a few years ago, the results of an online search for "gay middle schooler" would include many tragic stories of suicide. Today, I find support programs for that age group. But progress toward acceptance and rights for queer people had been very slow before the Massachusetts Supreme Court in 2004 set in motion a domino effect of states legalizing gay marriage. Even now, I worry that such rights could be lost anytime.

The Beauty of The Way He Looks

The Way He Looks is the coming of age story of Leo, a blind, middle class Brazilian teenager. At the film's open, Leo and best friend Giovana lay by her pool lamenting the lack of romance in their lives. Why not just kiss each other, they wonder. But Leo longs for his first kiss to be meaningful.

As Leo's classmates cruelly mock his disability, Gabriel, a new student, joins the class. Giovana becomes jealous as Leo and Gabriel develop a friendship that she feels crowds her out. Meanwhile, Leo feels constrained by his parent's loving but excessive protectiveness and longs for a sense of independence despite his disability.

Leo falls in love with Gabriel, who reciprocates the feelings, and Leo reconciles with Giovana. A simple love story, perhaps. However, Leo's blindness and resulting magnified need for others makes both his periods of isolation and intimacy palpable to the viewer. It projects outward and exaggerates the bipolar emotional turmoil of adolescence, the promise of youth, and the singular wonder of young love.

I love this movie enough to forgive it for triggering the cold realization of how many years separated I am from that period of my life. As a seasoned adult I wonder whether Leo and Gabriel have a future together, whether they truly know one another. But I know the relationship, as beautiful as it is, is merely a supporting element in the tale of greater beauty--that of a young man coming of age. I also know that I will never be young again.