I think the last time I enjoyed christmas was when I was a materialistic child. I'm no no longer a child or materialistic, and I'm squarely secular. Also, a member of my family is acutely mentally ill and for whatever reason not interested in treatment. Even without him, my christmases would be a chore. But he has made sure they have been outright miserable. Luckily he was out of the picture this holiday and my christmas was one of mere managed discontent.
One way I managed my christmas discontent was to attend a UU christmas morning service. I did this for nearly the same reason I attended a service on the 10th anniversary of 9/11: I felt a difficult mix of bad emotions and I figured it might be helpful to be among people. Also, I wanted to be around people for a short while who are not members of my family..
The service was simply a good performance with stories and music. I felt a good emotion emerge from the wintry mix of discontent. I felt that one of the biggest gifts my parents gave me was Unitarian Universalism. How nice it is to have this religion that I don't feel at all conflicted about. I have at times envied believers in the conventional religions, assuming they feel deep comfort where I only have awkward uncertainty. But except for the stupidest of unquestioning believers, most of these folks seem confused and conflicted about their beliefs.
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